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I'm writing today because I have a request - please take a short survey. I also have a bit more on narcissism, as many of you said that last week's information was very helpful.

Why the survey? You know a lot of what interests me. But who are you? What are some of your major interests? Is there something you're searching for and not finding - re political correctness, Islam, the education system - re how best to have a pro-freedom impact? Is there something you need that I could provide?

I'd appreciate your taking the survey. It will take only a couple of minutes, doing the multiple choice questions. For those of you who want to say more, I've given the option of providing longer answers.

Here's the survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/7QBV5Z2

Thank you in advance to all of you who take it. I'll be letting you know the general findings.

MORE ON NARCISSISM

Then, last time I sent lots of information on narcissism, and on effective strategies for countering it. A frequent suggestion: do not engage in argument. Instead, one strategy is to say, "I don't have any control over how you see me." This may be an ideal strategy when someone is trying to bait you or discount what you say, for example by calling you racist. You shrug and say (and use self-control, instead of entering into a generally futile debate): "I don't have any control over how you see me."

The most frequently given strategy: put your energy elsewhere. Narcissists, with their strong sense of entitlement, rage response, and lack of empathy, tend to be among those hardest to reach. How does that translate into strategies for counter-jihad people? A saying comes to mind: "Go for the low-hanging fruit." In other words, we will likely achieve more if we put our efforts into people who are not devout Islamics or devoutly politically correct.

Here's the information from last week:
http://elsasblog.com/170625-narcissism-islam-left.html

This week I went looking for what not to do. I didn't come up with much, except that we should do our best not to have vulnerabilities that the narcissist can exploit.

But I did come up with lots of strategies - sometimes contradictory:

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STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH NARCISSISM


https://throughpatienteyes.wordpress.com/2015/05/30/feeding-the-beast-when-you-confront-the-narcissist/

Of the many things on the narcissist's hate list, truth must rate pretty high. Narcissists simply hate to be confronted with the truth of who they really are.

one of the most effective ways to waste emotional and intellectual energy is by trying to reason with a narcissist. You. Just. Can't. Win! Confronting a narcissist with the truth of their harmful behaviour and expecting them to hear you out graciously, is akin to sticking your hand into the mouth of a crocodile and expecting it not to snap its jaws shut on it.

The narcissist cannot, and will not, take personal responsibility for his behaviour. 

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http://thenarcissisticlife.com/confronting-a-narcissist-with-his-own-behavior-what-will-happen/

The narcissist's sense of self has not developed beyond that of a young child and cannot cope with a truth that shows them to be less than perfect. Unlike alcoholics or other abusers who may eventually “see the light”, a narcissist just does not have the ability to look inside himself and perceive the truth. Self-reflection is not a tool in the narcissist's toolbox of skills.

Before considering strategies about how to confront a narcissist, take a look at what you want out of the interaction. If you are looking for equality in your relationship, acceptance, or significance in his or her eyes, it is recommended that you simply move on. If you are looking for those outcomes you will invest excessive amounts of time and energy but with a minimum likelihood of success.

What can you expect when you do confront a narcissist? Generally, they will resort to narcissistic rage (explosive or passive-aggressive) or denial. He or she may become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, twist reality, blame you and then play the victim. You may be the recipient of rage and aggression or the victim of The Silent Treatment. It is also common for him or her to project everything you say about them on to you. For example, if you confront them about infidelity, they will turn it around and claim that you must be the one who cheated for you to even bring it up. If you are strong enough to cope with this treatment, then go ahead and use the strategies below to confront him (or her). If you are hoping for a permanent, positive change in their behavior, more disappointment or pain is likely on the way.

How to Confront?

According to Sam Vaknin, self-proclaimed narcissist and author of Malignant Self-Love, the simplest way is by abandoning him or by threatening to abandon him. The threat to abandon can be vague and doesn't have to be conditional (“If you do/ don't do something – I will leave you”). When you confront a narcissist, you must be insistent and shout back. He or she can be controlled by the exact weapons that he uses to overpower others.

Their fear of abandonment overshadows almost everything else in a narcissist's life

Mirror the narcissist's actions and repeat his words back to him: If he threatens you – threaten him back. If he leaves the house – you leave the house. If he acts suspicious – you act suspicious. Descend to his level and use criticism, degrading comments and humiliation. Mirror his image back to him and the narcissist will always retreat.

Narcissists can cause negative and harmful effects to us. They are superficial individuals whose self-worth often stems from their behavior toward their partner, family and friends. To successfully and effectively confront a narcissist, your own self-worth must be strong and you need to robustly believe in your right to confront his or her attitude or behavior. Stand up for yourself and confront the narcissist by mirroring his behaviors; by doing this you can regain control and put it back in your court.


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https://www.families.com/blog/should-you-confront-a-narcissist-about-their-narcissism


The whole crux of the condition is built on the premise that, for the narcissist, other people do not really exist except to serve the narcissist and prop up their false image of themselves. Not having individuated as people, narcissists believe the world revolves around them and is intensely interested in them. In believing this they are especially harmful people, and cause untold damage to their children in particular.

The essence of NPD is that the sufferer lives in a bubble that can only accommodate themselves. Self-reflection is definitely not in the narcissist's bag of skills and expecting them to be capable of doing so can court disaster.

Be prepared for rage and aggression to be aimed at you. Be prepared to not be heard.. Be prepared to have everything that you claim about them, to be reassigned to you. When and if you are strong enough to cope with this treatment, then you may decide to go ahead. If you are hoping for recognition and a change for the better, more pain is in store.


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https://www.quora.com/What-can-I-do-to-handle-a-narcissistic-revenge

In my opinion, the best way to “handle” a narcissist is to express complete indifference to them. This is very difficult to do because narcissists like “pushing people's buttons”.

Narcissists are not ethical or fair-minded people. They're not above telling outright lies about someone when seeking revenge for a perceived wrong. So be mentally prepared for “anything” as far as what your narcissistic former friend's motives might be.

In my experience, narcissists are supreme control freaks with all their relationships. 

If you act completely indifferent and unmoved by her actions- she'll eventually loose interest, and move on. If


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http://thenarcissisticlife.com/the-narcissist-and-revenge/

The narcissist plays dirty; he or she is a street fighter. They are masters of finding weak spots and vulnerabilities of their ‘opponents' (anyone who defies them or thinks for themselves) and know exactly where and how to turn the screws. Most people are intimidated by the power and force of the narcissistic personality.


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https://narsissisten2011.wordpress.com/om-narsissisme-innlegg-kommentarer-etc-about-narcissim-several-contributions/how-do-you-handle-a-narcissist-who-wants-revenge/

If you have to deal with a narcissist long term, it helps tremendously if you: a) look really good b) know exactly what you're talking about c) make sure that your own behavior is above reproach (this is critical) d) perform better than they do (at work or in some sport that they like). All the above can be very difficult to do, and takes time, but will certainly put you in the position of power.

Don't break any laws, because the narcissist might then get a powerful ally on his side – the police. You don't want to help your abuser get the better of you.

If the narcissist is taking you to court, get a good lawyer. Disclose to the attorney that the person taking you to court is a narcissist. The lawyer will know if that can help your case.

When you finally turn the tables on the narcissist, be aware that she or he will then portray themselves as the victim. Don't bother if that happens.

Last but not the least, abandon the narcissist (not if it is a child, of course). A relationship with a narcissist is as beneficial and pleasant as a relationship with a rattlesnake. Deal with them the same way you would deal with the situation if you spotted a rattlesnake a few feet away from you.


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http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a37769/dealing-with-narcissist/

1. Narcissists have zero tolerance for shame. They're so sensitive to issues of feeling inadequate, insecure, and shameful that they don't typically allow themselves to experience shame. If someone criticizes them, shows disappointment, or even asks for something they don't feel equipped to offer, "they will either shut down completely and get distant, avoidant, and pouty, or they will overcompensate and become critical or hostile," explains psychotherapist Wendy Behary, author of Disarming the Narcissist.

4. Narcissists are fueled by the desperate need to be superior. They may react with contempt to anyone who is perceived to have something they lack. "If someone else is one up, they are automatically one down," says expert Dr. Sandy Hotchkiss, a therapist and author of Why Is It Always About You: The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism. "It's not like I can be good and you can be good. It's, 'I'm better and you're worse.'"

5. Narcissists tend to engage in grandiose thinking to insulate themselves from their inner emptiness. "They may name-drop or have best this or that, and they want you to know it," Dr. Hotchkiss says.

6. A sense of entitlement lies at the core of narcissistic behavior. They feel they are deserving in situations without regard to other people. "Entitlement is a way to bypass their having to feel disappointed or vulnerable because they've asked for something and didn't get it," explains Dr. Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism and an instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. When an extremely entitled narcissist also exhibits manipulative and exploitative behavior, that's the most troubling combination.

7. Narcissists tend to ignore appropriate boundaries. It may be up to you to make sure you're not being taken advantage of by enforcing boundaries that you establish. "It's a very, very important strategy," Behary says. "If someone's being overly aggressive or selfish, and you have a sturdy sense of yourself, say, 'This conversation is over, you can't talk to me like that.'" Other suggestions: Don't pick up every phone call and keep the ones you do pick up short.

The other way to neutralize a vindictive narcissist is to offer him continued narcissistic supply until the war is over and won by you. Dazzled by the drug of narcissistic supply, the narcissist immediately becomes tamed, forgets his vindictiveness and triumphantly takes over his "property" and "territory".

Under the influence of narcissistic supply, the narcissist is unable to tell when he is being manipulated. He is blind, dumb and deaf to all but the song of the NS sirens. You can make a narcissist do ANYTHING by offering, withholding, or threatening to withhold narcissistic supply (adulation, admiration, attention, sex, awe, subservience, etc


How should the persons nearest and dearest to the narcissist cope with his eccentric vagaries?

The short answer is by abandoning him or by threatening to abandon him.

The threat to abandon need not be explicit or conditional ("If you don't do something or if you do it, I will desert you"). It is sufficient to confront the narcissist, to completely ignore him, to insist on respect for one's boundaries and wishes, or to shout back at him.

The narcissist is tamed by the very same weapons that he uses to subjugate others . . . every discordant note presages solitude, abandonment, and the resulting confrontation with his self.

Mirror the narcissist's actions and repeat his words. If he threatens, threaten back and credibly try to use the same language and content.


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Loads more information is available.


As always, all the best to all who care and dare,


Elsa

Narcissism and the narcissistic
personality disorder.
Good Strategy. Say:
I have no control over
how you see me.
And walk away.
As for bad strategies . . .



PS. Here's a recent sendout - which is not intended for Canada's self-absorbed prime minister - but instead is intended for people who are not impressed by him. Quite something to need to face: this is Canadia's prime minister at the time of Canada's 150th birthday. July 1, 2017.

Happy Birthday, Canada! And then, here he is . . .

MUSIC - JUSTIN TRUDEAU. WALKING WITH THE DEVIL
http://elsasemporium.com/justin-trudeau-useful-idiot-walking-with-the-devil.html
Justin Trudeau - Walking with the Devil




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http://elsasblog.com/170702-narcissism-strategies.html


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posted July 2, 2017





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Narcissism and the narcissistic
personality disorder.
Good Strategy. Say:
I have no control over
how you see me.
And walk away.
As for bad strategies . . .


Elsa's Blog

Narcissism and the narcissistic
personality disorder.
Good Strategy. Say:
I have no control over
how you see me.
And walk away.
As for bad strategies . . .








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